A year ago, I wasn't even coming to Church on a Sunday and although I had been in and out of different churches at different stages of my life, I had never found somewhere that felt like home, until now.
It was on the Alpha course held in this Church last year, that I FINALLY fully opened the door to trusting God. I say opened, but it was more like kicking the door down to me! (I was a keen footballer for almost 30 years of my life).
It was the realisation that having faith means to trust and let go of our own understanding and embrace the “mystery of faith”. That all sounds straightforward, but it was one of the most challenging battles I've ever had, to just let go and trust. I had never quite reached that point, although I had come close to it on many occasions.
That was the turning point in my relationship with God. Along with suddenly noticing God had always been so close beside me. I have always noticed Blackbirds when praying and I made the connection between this happening and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
And it was at this point, that a lot of things started to happen. It's hard to listen amongst the busyness of this world and even harder to be obedient at times, but there was no other way than to surrender and say yes to Gods plans.
It was towards the end of the Alpha course that I started telling everyone how passionate I was to help people and how I now realised that this was through being a Chaplain.
And so the adventure began into Chaplaincy.
Chaplaincy is serving God out in the community, often in difficult and challenging places. Coming alongside those in their journey through life and offering them Gods love. It isn't chasing people around with a Bible - it's more about being an invisible agent for God.
Due to things that have happened in the past, there was a time that I couldn't even set foot in a doctors surgery without going into a high state of anxiety, however, last year, I found myself being able to walk into the hospital as a volunteer chaplain with a sense of complete calm and peace.
It isn't about us, it's about God and Him working through us to do His work. To be His hands and feet and to speak the words He wants us to, to those He directs us to.
There have been some extraordinary experiences in that hospital, and they aren't found through choosing the easy path. They are found through putting yourself out there into difficult and challenging places. I'm talking about being in the middle of A&E during a doctors strike, going to someone who is suicidal, being alongside those who are in high levels of distress and those who are dying.
But with God at your side, anything is possible and you are never alone.
A few months went by and another door opened into Ambulance Chaplaincy and I became the ambulance Chaplain for Brighton. I have to say that I feel like a bit of an imposter at times wearing a green uniform!
But again this not about us, this is going out to love and serve the lord, to go and comfort people.
The Bible verse “Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God” has always stood out to me as a direction for my life.
God has brought me many challenges in Chaplaincy, but I see them all as a blessing.
My first shift was outside A&E on New Year's Eve and it involved helping with a patient who was walking around with a stab wound, the following week it involved supporting a family deciding whether they should let a young family member die peacefully or to risk a four hour life changing operation.
As an ambulance Chaplain I am a volunteer, but there is nothing else I'd rather be doing on a Friday night, than being stationed outside A&E ready for the crew and patients coming into the hospital.
On my first 12 hour shift out with the ambulance crew I experienced some really intense moments. Being asked if you've seen a dead body before isn't something you'd normally embrace at 7:30am on a Monday morning, but I had no hesitation in going into a house to support the crews.
Trusting that God is with you, gives you that armour and motivation to live out your calling - and this certainly came to light.
I helped the crew deliver chest compressions to a patient who was having a heart attack and I was then there to support the family as the patient took their last breath and I did the end of life prayers.
Prayers were equally important on the second call out at just gone 9:30am, to someone who had sadly been dead for over 2 weeks - I didn't have much strength after that job, but God gave me the words. That was definitely a Monday I won't ever forget!!
Before taking that huge step of faith, although I was aware of God, I wasn't fulfilling my calling or vocation. Life started to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
We must always remember that God is with us. We must also try to be patient and walk through the right doors, which is easier said than done! Especially if like me, you tend to always try and pull a door open when it clearly says push!
Those of you who know me, know I love to live my life at 100 miles an hour, so perhaps patience has been the hardest to learn!
I've found the more I listen and trust, the clearer the way ahead becomes. This is because you are surrendering to the will of God.
It is a joy to be part of this church and to help as much as possible in the community - helping with services at Dean wood and helping with the toddler group every Friday is a honour and a blessing and it is responding to a call.
And the call is ongoing - it doesn't stay settled for long - you need to keep your eyes open and respond to where God is leading.
You must put all your own fears and ideas to one side and allow God to work through you. You must have strength and courage. You must embrace times in the wilderness and times of darkness and you must decentralise your own ideas.
I've always had a poster on my wall, from childhood to now which says “the lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged”
And that is true every single day, the lord goes before you. I can't think of anything more fulfilling to be waking up each and every day and responding to that call.
And I would say to anyone, if there is something that you feel like you ought to be doing, have courage, rise up and do it for God.
“Worshipping God is worth nothing, if it doesn't lead to loving, caring, costly action.”
Thank you for allowing me to share some of my story with you.